Feeling the burn

My calves hurt. I mean, my calves really hurt, like pain + numbness + cramps. This is all due to the fact that I've decided to become a work-out queen.

You see, I'm working with bad genes; I really got the worst of the worst from premature hair loss, teenage acne in my 30's and chubby body. Thank goodness I have "a good personality".

Due to my fat, flat ass (which used to be round and admired but flattened out a few years ago ), huge thighs and calves that don't match (it's like flamingo legs on the bottom, turkey legs on the top) and arms that jiggle like my third grade teacher's did whenever she wrote on the chalkboard, I've decided to join the gym and work on my body, mind and soul. I'd say it's working, as my body feels like it's had the flu for the past month and I cried like a baby after my workout yesterday.

I met with a trainer for my first workout last week and have been going almost daily since. She's very nice and I told her exactly what my goal was: lose weight, get healthy and de-stress. That day, I did a lot of cardio (which I love) with a mix of pilates, weights, crunches, etc. I was on a mission and over-did it but still felt pretty good. I'm really proud of myself as I have been LOVING sitting watching TV (as if that wasn't apparent already), eating entire bags of popcorn (the old fashioned kind), drinking wine and coke classics and smoking an occasional (ok, nightly) ciggy. The de-stress portion of my work-out has come from putting on my green tea masque and sitting in the steam room (with all the naked ladies) while breathing in the steam and quiet. I follow that with a nice little shower and I'm off to home to be greeted by husband and two little beauties that want all my attention.

However, I went bigger than usual yesterday (can I say usual since it's only been about 6 times?). I did the treadmill for 35 minutes, two sets of each of my trainer stuff and then 10 minutes of the elliptical, which is my new fave machine. That shit burns calories like no body's business! During this session, I watched HGTV which is very calming to me, and got many an idea for our tiny backyard landscaping plan which will commence next weekend. Following the work-out I met a lady (started out naked, of course; they sure love the nakedness in this place) in the locker room who was very friendly and Ukrainian, I think. She was asking me how I felt and what I got out of working out since I looked happy and relaxed. I told her about my body needs and about my Mom and we had a very nice, intimate chat about Mothers as hers is sick and she was just visiting with the night before. It's amazing what people will divulge when meeting strangers, like in the gym or on a plane; I'm always amused by this. After I finished getting ready and closed our conversation, I got in the car and totally started crying - out of nowhere and completely uncontrollably. With that, I now think the de-stress and soul soothing is actually working as I felt really good after I got it out and weirdly close to my Mom...hard to explain but wonderful (like she was with me). So, I'm loving it and I'm an addict. However, like I said, my shit hurts today, like need-pain-medication hurts.

Furthermore, I'm like Garfield and I hate Mondays (and love lasagna)...I've had two lattes so far and I think I'm going for a third afternoon special right now...